Drive-in Movie Reviews

After all of the times that friends have said to me that I should review movies, I guess I thought that I should give it a try. I've decided to create a list of the movies that I have seen at drive-ins.

Remember: These are my personal opinions on these movies, I am by no means a professional at this, although I sure would love to be paid for my reviews of movies. Roger Ebert, watch out!

I thought that I would break it down by the "star" method. The following chart is how I rate them:

 

  You've got to be kidding? I paid to see this?

Well, at least I didn't give it only one

I guess I can say I've seen worse.

It was OK, it was something to see.

Getting better, not great, but OK.

Starting to show some entertainment value.

Pretty good, worth watching.

Getting really good, probably worth seeing again.

Great, definitely worth seeing again.

Excellent! Doesn't get any better than this!

 

 

American Beauty Kevin Spacey plays the father and husband in a dysfunctional family who has fantasies about a high school girl. There are some funny parts to this movie, but overall, I can't see how this movie was selected at the best movie of the year when there were so many other candidates to choose from.

American Pie:  Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari.  A group of teenagers try to lose their virginity before graduating from high school.  This movie is hilarious.  If you rent this one on video or buy it, make sure you see the "unrated" version.  Definitely worth watching.

America Pie 2:   Jason Biggs, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Seann William Scott, Eddie Kaye Thomas.  The teenagers from the first movie are back and enjoying summer vacation after their first year of college.  Pretty good movie, almost a funny as the first with the same sort of antics as the first.

American Wedding: :  Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Eugene Levy, January Jones, Seann William Scott.  Most of the gang is back together again and this time it's for a wedding.  Again more of the same stuff as the first and second movie and still keeps up the funny factor.  Worth checking out.

Angry Red Planet A movie about the first manned mission to Mars. Four astronauts travel to Mars to explore the surface of the mysterious red planet. This movie is so bad it's really good. A perfect candidate for MST3000. Cheesy special effects and bad acting make this movie fun to watch. Movie was made in 1959.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire Michael J. Fox, James Garner, Leonard Nimoy. Disney animated feature about an expedition to find Atlantis. Pretty good animated feature. Of better quality than some of Disney's animated features of late, and it's NOT a musical!

Austin Powers in Goldmember Mike Meyers, Beyonce Knowles, Michael Caine, Michael York, Seth Green. Austin Powers (Mike Meyers) is back again to fight against Doctor Evil (Mike Meyers), Fat Bastard (Mike Meyers), and this time Goldmember (Mike Meyers). Between innuendo and bathroom humor, this movie is a riot. Jokes, humor, and fun from end to end. One of the rare cases where a sequel is as good as the original.

Big Mamma's house Martin Lawrence goes undercover to keep an eye on a woman who has a large sum of money from a past robbery. He has to dress up as the large mother of the woman he is following. The movie is rather lame, and the makeup effects are nowhere as good as they were in "The Nutty Professor" with Eddie Murphy.

Bruce Almighty  Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston, Morgan Freeman, Lisa Ann Walter, Nora Dunn.  Bruce (Carrey) is given all the powers of God (Freeman) for a short time so he can find out what it is like to be all powerful.  This movie is FUNNY!  Typical Carrey funny feature.  Well worth seeing.

Caddy Shack 2 Jackie Mason, Dyan Cannon, Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd. Sequel to Caddy Shack. Not very good. The original was much funnier and original.

Changing Lanes Ben Affleck, Samuel L. Jackson. An accident on the freeway turns into a battle of who can cause the other the most grief. An OK movie, but not great.

Chicken Run Mel Gibson is the voice of Rocky the flying rooster in this claymation movie about a bunch of chickens attempting to escape a chicken farm. The chickens will be turned into chicken pot pies if they don't get out. This movie is lots of fun and the claymation is top notch. Created by Nick Park of "Wallace and Grommit" fame. A must see!

Daredevil  Ben Affleck, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano.  Blind superhero learns to use his remaining senses to fight crime.  Pretty good movie, although not as good as last years Spiderman.

Doctor Dolittle Eddie Murphy. A doctor discovers that he can communicate with animals. Pretty funny and some good special effects.

Doctor Dolittle 2 Eddie Murphy. A sequel with the same doctor talking with the animals again. He has to work with an ex-circus bear to help save a forest from being cut down. Funniest part of the movie is Steve Irwin getting bit by an alligator. Good special effects, but not as good as the first.

Evolution David Duchovny. An asteroid crashes in the desert and life forms begin to grow and evolve from it. They spread and begin to threaten the human race. The easiest way to describe this movie is to combine Men In Black and Ghostbusters. It's very funny and has great special effects.

Fast and the Furious, The Vin Diesel stars in this movie about street racing and highway robbery. This is a surprise hit for the summer and it's fun to watch. There's some good high speed chases and cool special effects. A must see movie for action and auto fans.

Finding Nemo  Alexander Gould, Erica Beck, Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Geoffrey Rush.  Disney animated film about a father (a fish) trying to find his son (ironically also a fish) who was captured and sold through a pet shop.  This movie is a lot of fun for the whole family.  While Disney hand drawn animated features seem to go through ups and downs as far as quality goes, their computer animated features never disappoint. 

Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas. A prequel to the original Flintstones movie. Fred and Barney meet the "Great Gazoo", a little green alien who is capable of granting them their greatest wishes. Features Joan Collins as Wilma's mother. Not as good as the original. The story wasn't that good, but Jane Krakowski does an excellent "Betty". Kind of a ho-hum movie.

Freaky Friday:  Jamie Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Harmon, Chad Murray, Chad Michael Murray.  Remake of the 1976 Disney film.  Mother and daughter switch bodies for a day to find out what life is like for the other.  Better than I thought it would be. 

Freddy VS. Jason  Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Kelly Rowland.  The two horror movie series meet each other in a showdown of just who can kill the most people.  Ends up turning into a battle of the two against each other.  Movie is actually better than I thought it would be, but I hadn't expected much.

Frequency Kind of a sci-fi "what if" type of movie. It's a movie about a son who, by some unusual solar storm activity, can talk to his father (Randy Quaid) 30 years earlier. He tries to help his father live through an accident that he was originally killed in while doing his job as a firefighter. He then tries to help his father solve a series of murders that took place 30 years ago. A predictable, but entertaining movie.

Gladiator A great movie about ancient Rome. Russel Crowe plays "Maximus", a general in the Roman Empire who is to become the Emperor but is ordered to be killed by the son of the recently deceased Emperor. He escapes his executioners and returns to Rome to fight in the Gladiatorial games. This is an excellent movie with great special effects and exceptional fight scenes. There is plenty of blood, guts, and gore to keep fans of that sort of thing happy.

Gone in 60 Seconds Nicholas Cage is a retired car thief who has to "boost" 50 rare and exotic cars in 72 hours or his brother will be killed. Actually a remake of a 1974 film by the same name. Features some really nice cars and a great car chase scene. A bit of mass destruction is included. A must see movie for car fans.

Home on the Range  Voices of: Judi Dench, Cuba Gooding Jr., Randy Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, Roseanne.  Animated film about cows who set out to save a farm from a yodeling cattle rustler with the unintentional help of a horse that's so full of himself that he's funny.  Well worth seeing.  Notice that the animated characters look like their voice counterparts.  (hint, Rosanne is a cow)

House of a 1000 corpses Rainn Wilson, Chris Hardwick, Jennifer Jostyn, Erin Daniels, Bill Moseley.  Horror movie that should not have been made.  On the good side, I did finally find a movie that could be rated BELOW Josie and the Pussycats (notice that there are NO stars associated with this review).  This movie stunk so bad that I thought someone mowed down a skunk on a hot, sunny day.  Rob Zombie should not be allowed near a camera EVER AGAIN!

Hulk  Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas.  The big green guy from the comics finally makes it to the big screen.  Plenty of action with a story explaining the origins of the Hulk.  The movie is fun, but has a few slow parts.  Watch for several scenes with a drive-in theater in the movie, including one of the Hulk smashing his way through the back of the screen.  "Hulk smash!"  Nick Nolte sports his usual bad hair day look throughout the movie.

Independence Day Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Judd Hirsch, Margaret Collin, Vivica A. Fox, Randy Quaid, Harry Connick Jr. Aliens come to earth with massive ships capable of demolishing entire cities with one blast from their weapons. The plan is to wipe out the human race and strip the planet of it's resources. Man kind desperately tries to find a way to fight back against the massive ships. Awesome special effects, big explosions, and plenty of action make this movie a ton of fun. Considering it's a big, all-star cast, with a lot of disasters going on, it leaves me wondering "Where is George Kennedy?"

K-19 The Widowmaker Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson. Russia's first nuclear submarine is to be launched even though it is known to have problems. The reactor core threatens to melt down and kill all those aboard, not to mention possibly start World War 3. Good movie and Ford, as always, entertains. Worth seeing unless you are claustrophobic.

Legally Blonde Reese Witherspoon is a college student trying to go to law school to impress her boyfriend. I wasn't expecting much from this film, but was surprised that it was actually fun and funny.

Legally Blonde 2  Reese Witherspoon is back as a fashion sensitive lawyer who decides to take her animal rights beliefs to Washington.  Not as good or as funny as the original.  Falls into the typical not-as-good-as-the-original formula.

Lilo and Stitch Tia Carrere, David Ogden Stiers. Disney animated feature about an artificially created alien who escapes imprisonment only to crash land on Earth in Hawaii. Great fun, and plenty of Elvis music. A must see animated film, probably one of the best hand drawn animation movies from Disney since Aladdin.

Jeepers Creepers:  Justin Long, Gina Philips, Jonathan Breck, Eileen Brennan, Patricia Belcher.  Horror movie about a pair of teenagers who encounter a monster in the basement of a church.  So-so horror film that makes you want to scream at the stupidity of the people involved.

Jeepers Creepers 2:    Jonathan Breck, Justin Long, Nicki Lynn Aycox, Ray Wise, Billy Aaron Brown.  Horror movie about a busload of teenagers who are attacked by the monster from the first film.  Actually better than the first movie.  Still not really scary and still predictable, but better than the first.

Josie and the Pussycats. Loosely based upon the cartoon from the 70's. This is probably one of the worst films I've ever seen. Stupid and mindless.

Jurassic Park III Sam Neil, Tea Leoni. The third installment of the Jurassic Park series. They return to the island featured in the second film to rescue a young boy who's lost. Almost as good as the first movie, and far better than the second. Special effects are first rate and the story is pretty good. Worth watching on the big screen.

Matrix, The Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne are in this sci-fi thriller about a massive computer system that controls most of the human race so they can be used as batteries. Neo (Reeves) has to find the way to defeat the computer system and release the human race. This movie has it all! Awesome special effects, great acting, and an awesome story that leaves you thinking. This is one of my all-time favorites.

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome  Mel Gibson, Tina Turner, Bruce Spence, Helen Buday, Rod Zuanic.  In a post apocalyptic world, where civilization is all but wiped out, a former traffic cop (Gibson) tries to recover his stolen wares from Bartertown.  Not as good as the first two features, but still worth watching.  Fun feature with pretty good action scenes.  Great soundtrack.  Rumors of a 4th feature somewhere in the near future.

Maximum Overdrive Emilio Estevez. Machines go on a rampage and start killing humans. This movie is so goofy it's fun. Watching the people trying to outsmart the machines is funny. A true modern day "B" movie. At least worth a rental.

Men in Black Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith. A secret government organization that helps aliens "fit in" with the Earth's human population, but also prevent the public from knowing about them. This movie features great special effects, a great story, and plenty of humor. Another must see movie. Smith is funny with Jones as the strait man of the pair.

Men in Black 2 Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith. Agent "J" and agent "K" return to protect the Earth from the scum of the universe. Almost as good as the first one, but could have been a bit longer.

Miracle  Kurt Russell, Eddie Cahill, Patricia Clarkson, Noah Emmerich, Patrick O'Brien Demsey.  Story about the creation, and training of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team.  This is a great movie and you'll find yourself wanting to chant "USA USA".

Mission Impossible 2 Tom Cruise is back as a special agent out to save the world. An extremely dangerous virus has been created that is capable of killing in a short period of time. Better than the first movie, but it seemed like an attempt to do "The Matrix" and a James Bond film. Doesn't seem to pull off either.

Mr. Deeds Adam Sandler. Mr. Deeds (Sandler) inherits a big media company and then tries to run it. Semi funny movie from Sandler, while not his best, not his worst either. Good to watch once.

Mummy Returns, The Sequel to The Mummy. Brandon Fraser and Rachel Weisz return to do battle against ancient mummies in this special effects thrill ride. This is a really fun film with some exceptional special effects. 2001 looks to be a great year for movies, and this one is just the start. A must see movie!

Open Range:  Kevin Costner, Annette Bening, Abraham Benrubi, Robert Duvall, Michael Gambon.  Western about free grazers who encounter a land owner who wants to drive them out of town or kill them.  Done in the style of the traditional western and very much worth watching.

Perfect Storm George Clooney is the captain of a fishing boat in search of the best catch. They venture deep out to sea into a rich fishing grounds and catch a mountain of fish. The problem comes in when they have to go back to port in one of the worst storms ever seen. Based upon a true story. Really good movie with a good story and great special effects. Definitely worth seeing.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl  Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, Keira Knightley.  Pirates and damsels in distress make this a fantastic movie.  Lots of action and thrills.  A must see movie!

Planet of the Apes Mark Whalberg. This re-make of the 1967 classic. A USAF pilot crash lands on a planet where apes rule over humans and he's trying to stay alive and return home. Great special effects and makeup effects with a story that is similar, but different enough from the original to make it entertaining. Look for Charlton Heston in a brief role in this movie.

Reign of Fire Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey. In the near future, mankind discovers dragons, which emerge and wipe out most of the human race. A fighter from America comes to the ruins of England with a way to defeat the dragons and stop the slaughter of humans. It's a fairly good movie, but needed more action and less dialog as the previews had indicated for the movie.

Robocop  Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox. A police officer from Detroit is brutally attacked and nearly killed by a bunch of drug dealers. He is surgically rebuilt into a human/robotic super cop and extracts revenge against the people who shot him up. This is a great movie done on a budget (relatively speaking) and contains plenty of thrills and action. A must see for action fans.

Rush Hour 2  Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Lee (Chan) and Carter (Tucker) are teamed up again to try to figure out who is killing American agents and find who is printing phony money. The first movie was good, but this one is even better! Lots of fun and plenty of action. Go see it and have fun!

Scooby Doo  Freddie Prinze Jr, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Linda Cardellini, Rowan Atkinson. The four teens and their dog are back to save the world, again. This time it's a haunted island theme park. Students are being turned into zombies and Scooby and the gang set out to find out why. This movie is a lot of fun and one of the better cartoon to live action translations. If you liked the Scooby Doo animated shows, you'll like this movie.

Shrek  Voices of Michael Meyers, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, and Eddie Murphy. An Ogre sets out to rescue a princess and return her to a prince who wants to marry her. Encounters with a dragon, fairy tale creatures, and a king wannabe all provide challenges for our hero. Start to finish, this is a great family movie. With bathroom humor and pokes at Disney, this movie is great fun. If you haven't seen this movie, you're really missing out. Eddy Murphy steals the show as the voice of a donkey.

Signs  Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix. Strange crop circles appear in fields around the world leading scientists to wonder if it's a big hoax, or something else. Mel Gibson is a former priest who's wife was killed in an accident. Living with his brother and two kids, he discovers a set of crop circles in his fields. This movie is spooky and different from normal horror/suspense/sci-fi movies. Recommend seeing this at least once.

Smokey and the Bandit II  Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed.  Another cross country chase, this time to deliver elephants.  Same idea as the first movie, but not quite as good.  Avoid the third feature of the series.

Snow Day  This one was more aimed at kids, but I found some rather funny parts. It's a family comedy about a small town full of kids who are wishing for a huge snow storm to shut down the schools so they can have the day off. The kids are plotting ways to stop the "Snow Plow Man" from cleaning the streets so they can have an additional day off from school. Movie features Chevy Chase, John Schneider, and Chris Elliott. Chris Elliott as the "Snow Plow Man" was hilarious! Interestingly enough, the snow plow truck was an Oshkosh Truck.

Sum of all Fears  Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman. Based upon a Tom Clancy novel. A terrorist organization plots to detonate a nuclear bomb during the Super Bowl, trying to make it look like Russia did it to provoke a nuclear war between the US and Russia. Suspenseful thriller, but Harrison Ford is missing from the role of Jack Ryan. Worth seeing.

Superman II  Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, Terence Stamp.  Superhero from Krypton has to save Metropolis from three super villains from his home planet and Lex Luthor (Hackman).  This is probably one of the best superhero movies ever made.  Loads of fun and very true to the original Superman comic book.  Easily as good as the first film from 1978.  It doesn't get any better than this. 

S.W.A.T.  Samuel L Jackson, Colin Farrell, Olivier Martinez, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J.  A group of cops put together to train to become a S.W.A.T. team.  Their mission is to cover the transport of a captured criminal who has made the offer of 100 million dollars to break him out of custody.  Good action film with a combination of chase scenes and fights.

Tomb Raider  Angelina Jolie. Adventure film featuring Laura Croft, of the video game fame, sets out save the world. This movie is kind of like Raiders of the Lost Ark, but without the energy and fun of Raiders. Great special effects, but the story wasn't that good.

U-571  Bill Paxton. During World War II, a group of US submarine officers are to try to capture a special encoding device used by the Germans on board a submarine. Movie features good special effects and plenty of action. Don't drink a lot during this movie, it features a lot of water!

Where the heart is  Natalie Portman plays a pregnant teenager who gets left at and lives at a Wal-Mart. She has the baby in the Wal-Mart and becomes somewhat famous. This is kind of a Murphy's Law type of movie. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Kind of fun to watch, actually.

X-Men 2  Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, Brian Cox.  The battle between Humans and Mutants begins.  Sequel movie that really shines.  Lots of fun with a good story.  Easily the equal of the first movie.

XXX  Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson. Big action film in the spirit of James Bond. Xander Cage is recruited by a US Government secret agency (NSA) to infiltrate a group in eastern Europe who are planning terrorist activities. It can't get more fun than this. Easily as good as a Bond film, but where Bond uses finesse, Cage whacks you over the head. Not to mention the hero has a real car, a 1967 Pontiac GTO. When you watch this movie hang on to something.

 

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